Get out of debt. Okay, which one?
Getting out of debt is a very reasonable goal. There are as many methods to get out of debt as there are philosophies about it. It is either, ‘stay out of debt,’ or ‘manage your debt,’ or attack debt using the snowball method or pay down the debt with highest interest rate first. While doing the laundry, another factor occurred to me. Agreed, the result of carrying debt is the same – an automatic financial obligation that someone else has dictated to you. You chose it, but the lender named the terms. But consider that not all debt represents the same thing and or resonates with you in the same way.
For example, the nearly maxed out Discover™ credit card could be the result of a protracted time without two incomes coming into the house. Living on one income for 18 months put a tremendous burden on your family. Now that you are back to full capacity, consider removing that lingering reminder of a difficult season and moving forward. Even looking at the monthly statement brings back memories of arguments and pressure. Shame for not contributing more to the family hangs over your relationship. Those shadows could be coloring your opinion of money and how much you trust your spouse.
Gentlemen, you may have an attorney bill that represents a painful time when your family was torn apart through divorce. The firm extended a payment plan, but you would rather pay it off and close that door in your own mind. The amount is relatively small compared to the other household bills, but the emotion is so intense that you write the check with as little thought as possible. However, removing it could brighten the outlook of your financial future.
Some folks carry student loans around like they’re a family member. That education opened a door to your passion job, so it was a meaningful decision. It still needs to go, but the several hundred-dollar payment doesn’t bring with it the same reaction. Give it a hug on the way out.
We are human, and we should carefully acknowledge how debt can impact us beyond the numbers. If you are single, talk to a trusted friend. If you are in a committed relationship, grab your partner. Review the debt and note any that stick out like an actual sore thumb? If so, then perhaps that’s what you target first. Make a list and order the debts you will pay off. Develop a specific plan with a monthly payment amount and stated deadline. Keep in mind that your goal is to get out of debt but you may be getting out of emotional debt in the process.
If you need a visual to help you crystalize how you feel about the debt, here is a basic emotion wheel. Sure, it’s for kids, but the emotions apply to grown folks too.
I am not trying to diagnose anything. Not qualified to do that. But as I said earlier, debt impacts us on the inside just like it impacts our pocketbook on the outside. If the trauma runs deep, I encourage you to seek out a mental health professional to find clarity.
In later posts, we will discuss other more tactical ways to get out of debt. But I wanted to share this thought because I believe it can help people understand why they feel certain ways about debt. The amount is important, but there could be more. Discover and deal with the more, then decide to make a change.
This one feels a little different, but I’m excited for you. The 50% uncomfortable, 70% incremental, 100% vital principle still apply. Think about it and do the work. Remember, you are worth it! If you want to talk about it, drop us a note at letstalk@studiomfinancial.net. Until we meet…keep working on the change.
Note: The Feel Wheel for ages 5-12 can be found on the iMOM website here.